{"id":101125,"date":"2023-05-06T14:02:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-06T18:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=101125"},"modified":"2023-05-08T10:09:45","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T14:09:45","slug":"change-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/change-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Change in a Relationship: Adapting to the Inevitable"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is it normal for those in a relationship to change? How do you talk about change in a relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are that you or your partner have changed over time. To deal with developments, you and your partner need to talk about them and remind yourselves why you love each other in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to discuss the inevitable changes your relationship will experience over the years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Dealing With Change<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to the authors of Eight Dates<\/em>, it’s completely normal for people to change. In a relationship, it\u2019s important to support your partner\u2019s evolution<\/strong>, even if it\u2019s different than you expected. Conflict will often arise as you or your partner changes, but individual change can strengthen and deepen a relationship when both partners take it as an opportunity to better understand the other person. On a date, you need to acknowledge how you and your partner have changed in your relationship and to discuss shared traditions that will keep you connected as you continue to change in the future. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: While there’s widespread consensus that personality changes over time, research has shown some personality traits remain relatively stable throughout a person’s life<\/a>, while others change significantly. For example, some studies have found that people tend to become more emotionally stable as they age. Also, personality traits that are more specific and negative, such as anxiety or anger, are more likely to change over time than broader and more positive traits like extraversion or conscientiousness.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given that change is inevitable, it can be helpful to have shared traditions<\/strong> (or rituals of connection) that ground you and your partner in your relationship. Maybe that’s drinking coffee together in bed every morning, keeping Sabbath on Saturdays, or planning a trip every year for your anniversary. Regardless of what your traditions are, establishing these kinds of touchpoints can keep you grounded and close through life\u2019s ups and downs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Creating shared traditions not only provides stability in the midst of change but also creates a sense of belonging and closeness in your relationship<\/a>. If you want to explore new traditions to introduce into your relationship, go through this list of 27 ideas<\/a>, which includes forming a family book club and going on a weekly family walk.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use the following questions to guide your conversations: <\/p>\n\n\n\n