{"id":101103,"date":"2023-04-28T12:34:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-28T16:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=101103"},"modified":"2023-05-08T10:09:31","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T14:09:31","slug":"building-trust-in-a-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/building-trust-in-a-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Trust in a Relationship: Talk Things Through"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What’s the key to building trust in a relationship<\/a>? What breaks trust in a relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eight Dates<\/em> claims that one of the most important topics you can discuss with your partner on a date is trust. Whether trust has been broken before or you want to simply strengthen it, talking to your partner about what trust means to them is a good first step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how to talk about trust on a date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Talking About Trust<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Trust is foundational to a long-lasting relationship. The authors define trust as the conviction that your partner values you and will be there to support you. The goal of this date is to understand your partner\u2019s beliefs about trust and discuss how building trust<\/a> in a relationship is better for both of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity<\/em><\/a>, defines trust differently\u2014as a confident engagement with the unknown<\/a>. Perel argues that trust isn’t necessarily about the belief that your partner will always be there or take care of you, but the confidence that when you and your partner make a mistake or cause harm to one another, you\u2019ll come back together, heal, and move forward. Because of this, she explains that taking risks is one of the best ways for couples to build trust because it allows you to be vulnerable with your partner and creates opportunities for deeper intimacy and shared experiences.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are a number of ways you can build\u2014or break\u2014trust in your relationship. The authors argue you can build trust by being vulnerable<\/a> with your partner, remaining faithful, addressing conflict<\/a>, offering compassion, and expressing gratitude for your partner. You break trust when you fail to show affection, follow through, tell the truth<\/a>, or be available when your partner needs you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform date: In Crucial Conversations<\/em><\/a>, the authors argue that trust isn’t an either\/or proposition<\/a> where trust either exists or it doesn\u2019t. They suggest that trust is often specific to a situation; you trust someone in some circumstances but not in others. For example, you may trust your partner\u2019s commitment to your relationship, but not their ability to responsibly handle finances.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use the following questions to help guide your conversation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n