Do you want to improve your social confidence? What are some things you can do to feel more comfortable and confident in social situations?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People who are comfortable in social situations<\/a> have the best chance of establishing beneficial relationships<\/a> and creating opportunities for personal and professional success. Unfortunately, many people struggle with social situations and don\u2019t know how to confidently approach and talk to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some tips on how to be more socially confident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Lack of social confidence plagues many people. Their discomfort prevents them from creating new connections and they miss out on enjoying opportunities that spring from social and professional relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n While some people are naturally more comfortable in social settings (due to their upbringing or temperament), you can take steps to develop your social skills and improve your social confidence. With this in mind, here are some tips on how to be more socially confident. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In his book 12 Rules for Life<\/em><\/a>, Jordan Peterson offers a simple piece of advice on how to be more socially confident: \u201cStand up straight, with your shoulders back.\u201d People will perceive you as higher in social status, and they\u2019ll treat you as competent and able. This will then kick off a virtuous cycle<\/a>: Because you\u2019re receiving positive signals from others, you\u2019ll increase your own self-worth, which will make you act even more confidently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might worry that all this posturing will make you a target for attack by stronger people. Peterson argues that the ability to respond with aggression decreases the probability that actual aggression will become necessary. In other words, acting confidently is a deterrent to attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: 12 Rules for Life To become more confident, you must display confident behavior. Think of the old adage \u201cfake it \u2018til you make it.\u201d For example, if you\u2019re shy and timid when you meet new people, conquer that by acting as a confident person: reach for the other person\u2019s hand, clasp it firmly, make eye contact and say, \u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you.\u201d Doing this often enough will banish your fear of meeting new people<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Five tips to act your way into feeling more socially confident:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \r\nTITLE: The Magic of Thinking Big<\/a> The words and phrasing you use when you speak say a lot about your confidence level. When you use passive language, you imply that you\u2019re insecure, subservient, or incompetent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider the following dialogue between April and her coworker, Jeff:<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are a number of issues here. First, there\u2019s no need for April to ask if she can ask a question; she comes across as if she\u2019s bowing and scraping. When she does ask her question, it\u2019s vague, and it doesn\u2019t specify the urgency of her need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jeff, meanwhile, by using the phrase \u201chave to,\u201d implies that April\u2019s request is an imposition that forces him to take on an additional burden. When he says he\u2019ll \u201ctry,\u201d he gives the impression that he\u2019s uncertain about his ability to fulfill her request in the timeframe he specifies, and implies that he\u2019s making room for himself to wriggle out of the commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, speaking assertively<\/em><\/a> gives the impression that you know what you want and need. It commands attention and communicates confidence.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Consider the following dialogue, in which both parties are direct and assertive:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here, April clearly communicates her need and the timeframe she\u2019s expecting. She gets straight to the point. Jeff, too, is clear about his plan of action, letting April know what he\u2019s doing and when she can expect her request to be fulfilled. Both parties come across as confident professionals who are sure of their needs and capabilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \nTITLE: The Fine Art of Small Talk The final piece of advice on how to be more socially confident is a little counterintuitive. According to Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People<\/em><\/a>, you shouldn\u2019t try to master every possible social situation. Instead, you should make social situations work for you<\/em>. She offers a few tips on how to execute it in practice: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Attend Events Where You\u2019ll Feel Most Confident and Comfortable. <\/strong>Van Edwards recommends making a list of all the settings you love, loathe, and feel okay about, then accept invitations in places you love, reject ones in places you loathe, and take time to consider the ones that are in the locations you feel “okay” in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Position Yourself<\/a> in the Right Place in the Room.<\/strong> Van Edwards recommends that you interact with people in the places<\/em> and at the times<\/em> when they\u2019re most likely to be receptive to conversation. In general, this means approaching people once they\u2019re settled in, not when they\u2019re in transition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Approach <\/strong>Your<\/em><\/strong> People, Not <\/strong>All<\/em><\/strong> People.<\/strong> Van Edwards argues that you should forge relationships only with people who make you feel good because, when you\u2019re surrounded by people who value and support you, you\u2019re more likely to succeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Social confidence isn\u2019t a fixed personality<\/a> trait. Rather, it\u2019s a skill: Anyone can learn how to be more socially confident through practice. That\u2019s why, if you want to hone your social confidence, you have to get into the habit of exposing yourself to different kinds of social situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you enjoyed our article about how to be more socially confident, check out the following suggestions for further reading: <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Like Switch<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you struggle to make friends? Have you ever wanted to learn how to read people<\/a>? If so, Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins\u2019s The Like Switch<\/em> can help. Schafer spent 22 years as a Special Agent in counterintelligence, counter-terrorism, and behavioral analysis at the FBI. In The Like Switch, Schafer\u2014with the help of Karlins, a management and organizational behavior expert\u2014applies his experience earning the trust of witnesses, suspects, and spies to the art of making friends and fostering powerful connections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Confidence Code<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n In The Confidence Code<\/em>, journalists and authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman examine the art and science of confidence\u2014what it is, why it matters, why women have more trouble accessing it than men, and how this shortage affects professional success, personal achievement, and even happiness. Biology plays a role, and so do systemic inequalities, but confidence is also largely a choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Confidence Gap<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Do you feel bombarded by negative thoughts, or feel you\u2019re incapable of accomplishing anything? Do you often feel blocked from achieving your life goals because you lack confidence? Psychotherapist Russ Harris believes this is a common state of affairs and calls it living in the confidence gap<\/a>. He believes you can get beyond this gap by learning how to relate to your negative thoughts differently: Instead of letting them dictate your actions, recognize them as mere mental events and carry on pursuing your goals<\/a>. You\u2019ll never be able to rid yourself entirely of negative thoughts and fears, but you can change how you react to them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Do you want to improve your social confidence? What are some things you can do to feel more comfortable and confident in social situations? People who are comfortable in social situations have the best chance of establishing beneficial relationships and creating opportunities for personal and professional success. Unfortunately, many people struggle with social situations and don\u2019t know how to confidently approach and talk to others. Here are some tips on how to be more socially confident.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":20344,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9,43],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-100842","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nDeveloping Social Confidence<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Stand Up Straight, With Your Shoulders Back<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\r\nAUTHOR: Jordan Peterson
\r\nTIME: 31
\r\nREADS: 78
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/12rules_cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: 12-rules-for-life-summary-jordan-peterson
\r\nAMZN_ID: B01FPGY5T0
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n2. Act Confidently Even If You Don\u2019t Feel Like It<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
\r\nAUTHOR: David J. Schwartz
\r\nTIME: 37
\r\nREADS: 29.8
\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/magicthinkingbig_cover.jpg
\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-magic-of-thinking-big-summary-david-schwartz
\r\nAMZN_ID: B00NGZIR92
\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n3. Speak Assertively<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
\nAUTHOR: Debra Fine
\nTIME: 45
\nREADS: 225.3
\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/the-fine-art-of-small-talk-cover.png
\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-fine-art-of-small-talk-summary-debra-fine
\nAMZN_ID: XYZ
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n4. Make Social Situations Work for You<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Final Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n