What is the philosophy of suffering? Why do even good people suffer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re having a bad day, you might be wondering what you did to deserve it. The truth is, suffering is completely normal and doesn\u2019t reflect on you as a person. Though, there are ways you can cope with this revelation to make it easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Below we\u2019ll explore the philosophy of suffering by discussing why we experience it and how to combat it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
As much as we can discover our life\u2019s meaning through positive things, we can also find meaning in the negative, specifically through suffering. According to Man\u2019s Search for Meaning<\/em><\/a> by Holocaust survivor<\/a> Viktor E. Frankl, the philosophy of suffering states much of it is unavoidable in human life<\/strong>\u2014we\u2019re going to lose loved ones, experience losses, and one day die ourselves\u2014but if we view it as a challenge to overcome, something to do with dignity and bravery, then life can have meaning up until our last moments. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Suffering can be an achievement in the way we handle it. This is an especially important concept for Americans, who often feel pressure to be happy and avoid unhappiness and suffering. This pressure makes us ashamed of unhappiness and suffering, instead of supporting the view that suffering can be noble, something to be proud of if it has meaning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If we can find meaning in suffering, then that means life <\/strong>has<\/em><\/strong> meaning unconditionally. <\/strong>No matter what situation you\u2019re in, your life has meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Frankl\u2019s philosophy of suffering, there are three main forms of suffering\u2014pain, guilt, and death\u2014and there are three corresponding ways to find meaning in it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes, we can experience suffering so great that it seems like there can\u2019t be any purpose or meaning in it. Many concentration camp prisoners felt this way. But what if there were purposes beyond our ability to comprehend? This is the idea of a super-meaning: that there might be a purpose to our lives that we are totally unaware of and can never be aware of. <\/p>\n\n\n\n And perhaps we can find some comfort in the idea that it actually might be beyond our intellectual capacity to understand the purpose or the meaning of our suffering.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people might assume that viewing the philosophy of suffering as a fact of life may mean some people might have trouble finding meaning in it. But as Frankl said, just because there\u2019s meaning in suffering, doesn\u2019t mean you should constantly have to live through it. You should try to avoid suffering as much as possible to live a happy and fulfilling life<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Viewing suffering as a fact of life may seem like it just causes more suffering, joins psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler and the Dalai Lama in their book The Art of Happiness<\/em><\/a>. It therefore might seem best to avoid thinking or talking about suffering. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But there\u2019s additional context in the Buddhist tradition that makes this discussion of suffering not only valuable but necessary, says the Dalai Lama. Buddhists believe that you can <\/strong>eliminate <\/em><\/strong>suffering<\/strong>. In Buddhist philosophy, ignorance, hatred, and craving create suffering. When you start eliminating those root causes of suffering, you move toward freedom from suffering<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You\u2019ve just learned that the philosophy of suffering states that most of it is inevitable. Now you\u2019ll learn how to ease this uncomfortable feeling. When your suffering has meaning, you have a greater chance to fight it. It\u2019s because you understand that you deserve a chance to grow from a negative space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are five ways to ease suffering to create peace of mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Acceptance of suffering is the first, integral step toward eliminating it<\/strong>, says the Dalai Lama in The Art of Happiness<\/em><\/a>. If you can\u2019t accept that life is <\/em>suffering, you\u2019ll only ever apply temporary solutions to your suffering. You won\u2019t free yourself from its root causes of ignorance, hatred, and craving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are also a few key things that you should remind yourself if you have doubts about accepting your suffering:<\/p>\n\n\n\n After accepting that suffering is a normal part of life, you need to accept responsibility for what\u2019s causing your suffering. The Road Less Traveled<\/em><\/a> by M. Scott Peck says there are three important realities you must accept to accept responsibility:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through experience and self-reflection<\/a>, usually over a long period of time, we can get a realistic sense of what we owe to the world versus what we owe to ourselves. Parents can assist children in the process of accepting responsibility<\/a> by recognizing opportunities to address a lack of responsibility, as well as opportunities to discourage a sense of responsibility that is unrealistically high. This requires time, attention, and effort, and is usually uncomfortable for all parties. However, the hard work to take responsibility for our own actions leads to less suffering because we\u2019re much more aware of our faults and can grow from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In When Things Fall Apart<\/em><\/a>, Pema Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n asserts that cultivating mindfulness<\/a> through meditation<\/a> is the first step in learning how to cope with suffering<\/strong>. It also allows you to use painful experiences as catalysts for experiencing peace in your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n In meditation, practice being with your experience in the present moment\u2014whether it’s painful, enjoyable, or a mix of both\u2014and accepting it. Notice without judgment whatever thoughts and feelings come up, then let them go and return to the present moment. The purpose of meditation is not to rid yourself of unpleasant thoughts or feelings, which is impossible. Because mindfulness leads to clarity and spaciousness around your thoughts and feelings, it helps you to not get swept away by your hopes and fears in hard times. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Additionally, you can see your habit of escaping certain emotions because you\u2019re paying attention<\/a> to your experience. You can then develop the ability to let your emotions be present without indulging them or repressing them. Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n explains that this mindful awareness can translate into your daily life if you practice meditation regularly. You\u2019ll develop inner acceptance and peace, despite how your outer life may look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n teaches that only the present moment is real\u2014the past and future are illusions. We all think about the past and future to escape the discomfort of everything we don\u2019t know and can\u2019t control. Therefore, as you learn to be more present, you may feel vulnerable because you have nowhere to escape to mentally. And Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n explains that when you have nowhere to hide from reality, your heart will open more fully to yourself, others, and the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n teaches a form of mediation called Shamatha-vipashyana and outlines the basic steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n When Things Fall Apart<\/em><\/a> also teaches that one of the most powerful ways to stay afloat during times of suffering is to cultivate compassion for yourself<\/a> and others. In Tibetan Buddhism, the path of cultivating compassion<\/a> for yourself is called maitri<\/a><\/em>, which translates from Sanskrit to loving-kindness<\/em>. By practicing maitri, you can make friends with yourself\u2014trust and lean on yourself\u2014and feel more connection to and belonging with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first step in learning Maitri to overcome suffering is to develop compassion for yourself. For many people, it\u2019s easier to feel loving-kindness toward others\u2014they instead feel hostility, hatred, and shame toward themselves. But Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n asserts that it’s never too late to start practicing self-compassion<\/a> and become your own friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not to be confused with self-improvement or building confidence, self-compassion is<\/a> about learning to accept yourself<\/a> unconditionally, not fixing or changing yourself<\/a>. The first step toward self-compassion is understanding that your thoughts, emotions, and memories are all impermanent and not representations of who you really are<\/a>. You can think of yourself as the sky and your thoughts, emotions, and memories as different kinds of weather passing through\u2014we don\u2019t look up and think the clouds are <\/em>the sky. We understand that the sky is much bigger than all the weather it holds. In the same way, you are much more than the emotions and thoughts you experience, and remembering this can help you be more patient and kind to yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you encounter suffering in your life, self-compassion and mindfulness can help you slow down and experience your feelings with kindness and care. Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n teaches that it’s important to be kind to yourself<\/a> during difficult times because this helps you develop a trusting relationship with yourself that you can lean on. Additionally, when you develop self-compassion, you\u2019ll be able to have compassion for others and you\u2019ll discover that you are just one small part of a greater whole. <\/p>\n\n\n\n When we suffer, we can get stuck in only caring about protecting ourselves, which leads to isolation and more suffering. But if we can connect our struggles and pain to the struggles and pain of others, we can transform negative experiences into an experience of open-hearted connection and kinship with all life on this planet<\/strong>. Ch\u00f6dr\u00f6n explains that when our suffering is at its peak, if we deliberately try to feel tenderness for the suffering of other living beings, we can break through our self-absorbed isolation. In this way, compassion can heal us.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Three Forms of Suffering<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
If Suffering Is Inherent, Why Talk About It?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Ease Suffering<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Accept Your Suffering<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Take Responsibility<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Practice Meditation and Mindfulness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Meditate<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
4. Cultivate Compassion For Yourself and Others<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Self-Compassion<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Compassion for Others<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n