{"id":100638,"date":"2023-04-21T14:36:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-21T18:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=100638"},"modified":"2023-04-27T10:46:37","modified_gmt":"2023-04-27T14:46:37","slug":"people-who-waste-your-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/people-who-waste-your-time\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways to Deal With People Who Waste Your Time"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do certain people drain you of energy and keep you from getting things done? After being around them, do you feel like your time was wasted?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your time is limited and precious. So, you must say &#8220;no&#8221; to some things\u2014and some people\u2014if you&#8217;re going to get on with accomplishing what matters in life. In <em>Someday Is Today<\/em>, Matthew Dicks shares a few strategies to help you avoid being distracted and drained by unhealthy relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading for three practical recommendations on how to deal with people who waste your time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-dealing-with-people-who-waste-your-time\">Dealing With People Who Waste Your Time<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Dicks recommends that you minimize the time you spend engaging with\u2014and even thinking about\u2014negative people. Basically, these are people who waste your time in one way or another.<strong> <\/strong>When you <em>do<\/em> spend time with them, you waste time thinking about things that don\u2019t matter, like what caused their harmful behavior or whether you deserved it. Further, their negative behavior can rub off on you and cause <em>you<\/em> to be more negative\u2014more self-doubting, more unmotivated, and so on\u2014which sabotages your productivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/be-your-future-self-now\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Be Your Future Self Now<\/em><\/a><em>,<\/em> Benjamin Hardy agrees that the people you spend time with impact your ability to succeed. However, rather than focusing on managing the negative people in your life, Hardy emphasizes building new connections with people who are <em>better than you<\/em> or embody your ideal self. When you spend time with these people, their positive behaviors will rub off on you, and you\u2019ll learn how to become successful from watching their strategies.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dicks presents three main tips for managing negative people so you don&#8217;t waste time thinking about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-1-try-to-understand-them\">Tip #1: Try To Understand Them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Dicks explains that understanding <em>why<\/em> someone acted negatively will make it easier for you to forgive them and stop thinking about the situation. Further, even if you can\u2019t forgive them, understanding them will put the issue to rest in your mind. This technique is most helpful when the offender is someone you have to remain in contact with.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-2-avoid-them\">Tip #2: Avoid Them<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you can\u2019t understand the other person, Dicks recommends avoiding them.<strong> <\/strong>Do this by either removing them from your life or creating boundaries to minimize your exposure to them. For example, if your parents frequently invite themselves over for dinner just to criticize your home and your cooking, create a boundary where they can\u2019t come over anymore\u2014you\u2019ll go to them. This will prevent further criticisms that will plague your thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Some experts reiterate Dicks\u2019s recommendations here. However, they argue that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.techtello.com\/how-to-deal-with-negative-people\/#:~:text=6.%20Accept%20responsibility\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">before blaming negativity on <\/a>others and taking action against them, it\u2019s important to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-understand-yourself\/\">understand yourself<\/a> and your emotions: Consider whether you might be the underlying problem. For example, you might label tardy people as \u201cnegative\u201d and forgive or avoid them to protect your peace. However, their tardiness isn\u2019t the real issue\u2014everyone is tardy sometimes, and you can\u2019t realistically remove every tardy person from your life. Instead, the underlying issue is your negative response\u2014you don\u2019t need to get angry whenever someone\u2019s late. A more sustainable solution, in this case, is to address <em>your<\/em> negative reaction.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tip-3-add-them-to-an-adversaries-list\">Tip #3: Add Them to an Adversaries List<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If someone did something so horrible to you that you can\u2019t understand them and avoiding them doesn\u2019t prevent you from thinking about them, Dicks recommends adding them to a list of adversaries. This will help you put your thoughts about them aside for now. In the future, you can try again to understand them, or you can plan your revenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Some experts agree that setting an issue aside for a while is a good idea because <a href=\"https:\/\/psychcentral.com\/blog\/how-a-little-space-and-time-can-help-heal-a-relationship-crisis#space-vs-breakup\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">it helps you develop new perspectives on the situation<\/a>, which can foster mutual understanding. However, saving an issue for later with the intention of <em>getting revenge<\/em> isn\u2019t recommended. <a href=\"https:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/US\/story?id=96813&amp;page=1#:~:text=It%20is%20inherently%20unhealthy%20because,it%20doesn't%20last.%22&amp;text=Revenge%20spawns%20an%20endless%20cycle%20of%20retribution.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">While revenge can provide catharsis at the moment, it doesn\u2019t rid you of negative feelings<\/a>. Instead, it starts an endless cycle of retribution, causing you to waste <em>more time<\/em> on negative feelings.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do certain people drain you of energy and keep you from getting things done? After being around them, do you feel like your time was wasted? Your time is limited and precious. So, you must say &#8220;no&#8221; to some things\u2014and some people\u2014if you&#8217;re going to get on with accomplishing what matters in life. In Someday Is Today, Matthew Dicks shares a few strategies to help you avoid being distracted and drained by unhealthy relationships. Continue reading for three practical recommendations on how to deal with people who waste your time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":18969,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[996],"class_list":["post-100638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-someday-is-today","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>3 Ways to Deal With People Who Waste Your Time - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"To get on with what matters most in life, minimize the time you spend on negative people. 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